Victoria Nuland and the EU

My Orchids. Phalaneopsis"Blushing". Photo ET

Victoria Nuland and the EU

Victoria Nuland, Assistant Secretary of State of the USA is said to have launched the F-bomb on the European Union. Which is a bit risqué, as it is a continuation of diplomacy by other means. It worked like a coup de théâtre, as we entered new land in diplomacy . However, should we point out that the information behind the news was illegally gleaned by the Soviets Russians from the intimacy of a phone call. That opens a new dossier.

I always liked Ms Nuland as a spokeswoman of the Department of State. Though I would be reluctant to endorse the couloirs' talk that her successors at that desk are loud teenage interns wearing Ersatz Coco Chanel, and who, belligerent and a bit blasé, zealously and breathlessly recite their talking points. Certainly, Victoria by contrast has a royal bearing, though it is not for me to comment on all that. But how can I not comment now? Victoria makes her points in a quiet expert and reassuring way. There is no arrogance. I honestly believe you cannot improve on how she is delivering her points in her unique laid back and still authoritive way. C'est magnifique! Irving Berlin would call her Madam.

As a former soldier turned diplomat at one point, I can measure the pent up frustration that comes from controlling your language. As already mentioned, military response is the continuation of diplomacy by other means. That includes language. Inevitably some military language comes to mind, when the frustration is high and time is right. For instance General McAuliffe's "Nuts" in Bastogne, Belgium, to the German emissaries. Germans are still perusing their Langenscheidt's for a translation that would make sense. "Nüsse?" I wonder what Europeans are scanning now under "F" in their Larousse?

But the "Nuts" language was by far less profane than Pierre Cambronne's, Napoleon's commander of the Guard, at Waterloo.  I wonder if Victoria would care to relate her pertinent remark to the somewhat different one he made, when he was advised to surrender at Waterloo, and his monumental answer was "MERDE". Which guarantees him a place in History for ever.

If I may put Cambronne's liberating outburst  in another way, we come full circle back, to Victoria. Honni soit qui mal y pense. She'll have her place in History too.

I have understanding for those feelings expressed in a new effort of post-Snowden transparency, and precisely directed at the gloating and sizzling Europeans in their diminished entente cordiale settings. But "Europe, whom to call?' asked Colin Powell, who therefore also has a place in History.

In the spirit of compromise, and having carefully reviewed all reactions, may I put forward the concept of a transcription, an acronym to allow for a more casual use of the "bombe" word, that is now out there in the diplomatic discourse. Best, and simplest to understand would be the acronym: FEU. Acronyms are a widely used standard at the UN: UNESCO, UNDP, WHO, etc. Although we must assume some réciprocité is just around the next tour de table. Or worse, we may see a European-Russian-Syrian rapprochement using every acronym available in the UN family: FUSA, FUK, FF, FG, even FLux, and FUN for the UN!? These acronyms could be very helpful to smoothen the diplomatic talk again, mostly in the presence of children. They still might be perceived by some less progressive diplomats as shocking, though pasteurisé by the use of the alphabet only, they should kerry a broad consensus.

All this is getting complicated. Things are now comme-ci, comme-ça. Russians spying on US diplomats' phone calls, and boasting about it. It was supposed to be the other way round. The "Reset Button", which by the way I found silly at the time, as the event was poorly choreographed, that Reset Button obviously malfunctioned. We were reset into the Cold War. No wonder contentious Winter Games come out of that cold. C'est la vie.